I usually don't have philosophical mornings, but today I found myself turning over an idea in my head. For the last year, I've worked as a graphic designer for Barney's web team, and that usually equals obscene amounts of time surfing the web on various blogs, fashion sites, YouTube (yea, maybe that's more for personal pleasure than research) and the whole slew of information and visual bytes floating around in the inter-webs. It's interesting when you stumble upon a new blog you've never seen before, or a collection of someones photos (or collection of photos from others photos) that just inspire a certain awe in a person. As much as I love this online universe, there is a part of me that starts to think if it's healthy. The sharing and re-sharing of information seemed like a great idea to begin with. I miss the days of blogs formatted in simple HTML set up, usually reflecting the thoughts of some world traveller / scholar hoping to share ideas with a wider range of individuals. Now a days, it seems we are overwhelmed with various sites both visual and intellectual. It's harder for me to imagine who is actually behind these sites, posting photos and commentaries. Who is this person writing clever quips on today's fashion and politics? The cool thing is that most of these "experts" are actually laymen like me and you. Empowering isn't it? But nonetheless, you can't help but wonder if the information you're absorbing is actually something worth absorbing.
For example, I was perusing information about Croatia today in hopes of planning a future trip there, and found myself on someones page that had a collection of beautiful photos from Croatia. When I read the captions a little more clearly, I realized that the person had never actually been to Croatia, but had posted these photos in hopes of going there one day. I do this myself...create a virtual domicile, a life completely built upon wishes and hopes and dream versions of places and things I want. Interesting, isn't it? How our virtual lives can sometimes over shadow the reality of who we are and what we've actually accomplished or experienced. The Internet is a great facilitator in our games of pretend. It's an easy guise to wear, an avatar created based solely on how we want to be perceived, rather than a discovery of who we really are. I love the sharing and re-sharing of things uknown and unseen, but sometimes I wish it could happen in real life, like real air breathing, walking talking life, and not just a mouse click away life. Are we a generation trapped in our virtual domiciles like some form of digital house-arrest? Have we stunted our own capacities to self-reflect, to change, and learn and engage, or are we engaging in a different way? I haven't completely reconciled all these questions myself, but I often just feel as though I spend so much time trying to "catch up" on things happening on the Internet that I miss out on living my actual life...
This also made me think about the fear of man, vs. fear of God. When I look through Facebook sometimes, I see these perfectly crafted lives, and I have to wonder if people are ACTUALLY that happy and satisfied. Maybe they are, who am I to judge, but sometimes I feel like people filter out the bad (who would want to post up photos of family fights and teary faces anyways...bleh!). We, on the other end, can only see the good, but only that person will know what kind of toils lie beneath the surface of the happy photos being posted. But alas, the fear of man makes us afraid to be seen as either sad, depressed, sometimes struggling people. For a very long time I felt as though I was alone in my sadness and depression. The more I pressed into God, the more I began to realize that this is actually OK to experience. Through my troubles, the Psalms comforted me. The candour and honesty of David eased the uncomfortable feeling of shame in myself for being so troubled. If the Psalms were written in a blog today, I wonder if anyone would find it edifying, or would we just think to ourselves, "There goes that depressed David again, ranting away"? This leads me to the inquisition of this whole post; Are we hiding more than we are sharing our lives on the Internet? Does it help us in the process of self-discovery, or hinder us from growth? Does it increase even more our fears of man rather than push us further into the truths of God? Perhaps the answer is both, but we'll never know unless we have the courage to step away from our virtual domiciles, and examine our actual hearts.
