Standstill vs. Stand Still

I love the play one words. In a nutshell, I've been feeling like my life has come to a complete standstill. I know from the outside, it seems as though I've been swept away onto another adventure, and yes, at times I do feel that way. But even in unfamiliar settings, I feel those very familiar feelings. I am an anxious person to put it mildly. On good days, I go through my mental list of things to do at least three times before I've had my coffee, and on bad days I'll cry about the impossibility of that list being accomplished. It seems to be a lifetime struggle for me to ever feel like I've accomplished anything. Being back in school only reinforces those fears. I'm reminded of the time that's passed so quickly, and to be honest, there's even less time to lament for a youth long lost. The proverbial clock keeps ticking and I'm struggling to keep up with the seconds as they mindlessly tick by me. Seems that I'm always chasing after time and always coming up a step too late.
I've been really challenged to think about the idea of being at a stand still, and, well...just standing still. One feels very passive, and the other is an active role. I've always felt the first, as though I've been slotted into some evil purgatory where nothing happens, where I wake up five years later and I'm still blogging about "sad feelings" and unfulfilled promises in my underwear, alone, in bed. (Emphasis on the alone). I am now that five years later sad sad woman vaguely resembling a washed up Bridgette Jones. Self deprecation aside, there is another way of viewing things that I'm trying to wrap my mind around. Maybe it's not a standstill I'm in, maybe it's an opportunity to stand still. I was reading a blog today about the busy life of a mother trying to juggle her job, kids, and faith at the same time, and feeling as though her faith kept losing. I understood the difficulty of her feelings of not having personal time to sit and think, and reflect on God, or whatever else one reflects on, and to be honest, I felt a little lucky. As much as I want to complain about how nothing's happened in the last decade for me in terms of life-changing, I feel lucky that I've had so much time to explore. I must confess that at times I get a little lost in that exploration, and end up in places I shouldn't, but the chance to make mistakes and learn seems valuable in some way. But the journey often takes me to that desolate place, the place Dr. Seuss called "The Waiting Place". It's the season when you are just in-between everything, where your neither going or coming, seeking or finding. It's frustrating, more so when it seems to be not by choice. I think if I can manage to see it as standing still vs. a standstill, it eases some of the uneasiness. It's a rare opportunity these days to have to wait for something, especially when life is zipping by at a million miles/second and things are even more accessible than they've ever been. But waiting is the only way we'll know who we truly are, and to know who God truly is. It's the moment where we can think, and be disturbed, uncomfortable, lonely, confused, and most of all, be at rest. For those at "The Waiting Place", take encouragement in knowing that you are headed for great things, for every great person needs great rest. Be still, and wait, for the right time and for the right purposes. In the valley's of life, remember the high places, remember that promises unfulfilled are opportunities for miracles to happen.

I've also attached a copy of the Dr. Suess Story, "Oh! The Places You'll Go" below for some extra encouragement, happy readings!

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!