Age: Still 27
Occupation: Hasn't changed
Weight: Definitely going to pass on this today!
Goal for Today: Not be a slob in front of the TV
After spending three months overseas, I got the chance to spend some time at home with family and friends in New York City. The time I spent with my mother these short weeks was perhaps the sweetest. I remember spending most of my younger years avoiding conversations with her, as they would often result in some unnecessary comment about how my face got fatter, or how I still don't have a boyfriend. Though these quips still remain in our conversation, I find myself learning a lot from this woman. I used to always think that I knew more than my mom did. Maybe because of my own prejudices against her F.O.B (Fresh Off the Boat) status, or my own fears of her being taken advantage of because of her kindness, but I'm starting to see that there is a lot to learn from her.
About a year ago, she lost her job. Money was always a source of anxiety for our family, even in times when there was no need to worry, so of course, I had many sleepless nights over what would happen to our family, our house, etc etc. To my surprise though, my mother barely batted an eyelash. I knew deep down inside, she worried deeply. The quite stoicism and brave face in times of trouble is a quality certainly lost on our generation. It was hard for me to comprehend. Her rigid response was read as indifference to me, and my sister and I took up the slack for her lack of worrying. But I think she understood something me and my sister didn't...the importance of just resting and not worrying too much over the things you can't control.
In the beginning, she spent her months of unemployment the same way any one else would: In front of the TV. When I left for Taiwan the first time around, she began an interest with gardening. Inspired by the fresh tomatoes our neighbors would drop off now and then, she began to plant her own. At this time, she was still at the beginning phases, cleaning, weeding, planting seeds, taking care of the menial things. When I got back three months later, our fridge was bursting with fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, squash and berries! I couldn't believe that just three months ago, our backyard was bare with the exception of a few rotten apples and stray cats. The most spectacular sight was the pumpkin patch that began to grow. The leaves sprawled themselves over almost the entire backyard. My mother said that all she did was take one seed from a pumpkin and planted it in the dirt.
Most often in my life, I rarely make it past the "cleaning" phase. I once tried to keep a bamboo plant in my room, which I begged my mom to buy for me, and surely after three months its chutes withered into an unrecognizable pile of crap. I couldn't even imagine planting a garden, but that's what God asks us to do. We are called to sow in faith in order to reap in victory. Sowing in faith however, takes much more than a desire; it takes discipline. My mother, in the worst time of her life, had the discipline to grow a garden, and God blessed her with an abundant one. I know that God isn't done weeding me yet, and my heart still clings to many weeds, but I hope that I would have the discipline to work on such a garden. He promises to lay new roots in our hearts, to replace bitterness with joy, hopelessness with faith, and tears with singing...and there in the middle of it all grows a tree of God's goodness, an understanding that in hardship He never changes. When the winter season blows bareness in our lives, He is still there in the garden, waiting and watching for the fruit if His goodness to grow in us. I hope that I could learn to be such a disciplined and faithful gardener, so I could continue the work He's already done in me.
